Hip hip hooray! It's been 44 days since I've used you or your friends AND I am even saving some cash (okay very little cash) to send to you to rid myself of you. My latest goal is to pay you off before I get married May 2007 so I can actually enjoy the cold hard cash my Italian relatives shove into envelopes and give to me, sorry us on my, ahem, our wedding.
  ¶ 10:20 PM 0 comments

  Temptation Daddy bought you a new fridge and the fridge broke, that means the freezer broke, that means my ice bed melted. My cage opened. I was FREE! I felt so good in your hands. My smooth straight edges. You ran your fingers over my digits. Yeah, you like it? Huh, you like that don't you? DON'T YOU?

It was hard for you to refill my baggie with water and put me back when the fridge was fixed. I hope it hurt you as much at it hurt me.

I still miss you.
  ¶ 11:13 PM 0 comments

  You make it all so real Giulia loves you. loves you. loves you. Oh iBook G4 Giulia loves you so much and and didn't even need to get you! No need to break the ice! No! Instead Giulia got a new credit card for the store she bought you at cause they give a $100 discount when you open an account. While she did show up at the store with enough cash in my bank to make you really hers , she opted for more debt. Sure, she triend the ol' " I will charge it and pay it off right away." Good job asshole, let me guess you drank that money? You bought a tight tank top, went out with friend and drank you iBook G4 fund. Good luck paying me off in 2006 and ever paying for your kids college education.
  ¶ 9:41 PM 0 comments

  The whore strikes again OOOH I just love the top Amex got you at
Urbans NOT ON SALE! You NEVER let me buy you anything regular price but this just looked too good on you huh? You know what else looks good on you? Monogamy, back when I was your only spender lover. And it's been a month since you let me write. Does Amex have a blog? Or do you just like to hear the woes of frozen cards? I'd better see Amex in here soon, you cannot handle
any plastic. NO PLASTIC FOR YOU!
  ¶ 10:12 AM 0 comments

  God roots for Giulia It's Sunday. t's 7:38 pm. Giulia searches for her new American Express (tramp!) card to buy her pathetic $28.49 worth of groceries for the week. She scrabbles unable to locate the shiny ( trampy) piece of plastic that so tititlates her fancy. She used her debit card regardless of the overdraft she will surely endure ( next step in this facade towards financial freedom has got to be proper checkbook balancing). Hey at least it's not going to American Express or worse me, the cold forgotten ex-debt master. You later found your precious American Express was in your wallet all along hidden between your Crunch (now being debted from your bank account, even that you took from me!) and you one of many Urban Outiftters merch credit. Amex was hidding from you. Amex is scared of me. Maybe Amex wants to help you get out of debt. Either way Amex is a bitch.

Oh and a few of my co-hrts are now in their respected owners freezers as well! Looks like all this blogging i getting the word out to FREEZE YOUR CREDIT CARD! Thanks Giulia.
  ¶ 11:16 PM 1 comments

  Cheater! Whore! You got a new AMEX with a 0 balance and since you always mess up your check book you were left with only $1.86 to get through two days before you got paid again. Pathetic. So what do you do, you buy sushi, seaweed salad, and the ingredients to your friend Daiva's apple crisp so she can give you the $7 cash! What happen to not spending what you don't have? What happen to NO DEBT? What happen to us, and why are you running around town with that trampy Amex? You are a dirty dirty slut.

Oh la-di-da, you payed AMEX back immediately, good for you tough ass, let's see what happens in two weeks when you mess up your finances again.

By the way, word around the freezer is your sushi charging antics also really hurt the frozen salmon filets feelings.
  ¶ 2:43 PM 2 comments

  Hey sleepy head Giulia, you wanna a sip of crack in a can, huh? Too bad alertness cost $3 and you only have $2, now tell me you miss me.
  ¶ 4:49 PM 1 comments

  Shitting millions Yes, there is money in Giulia's mouth but she needs $13.99 to find out exactly where in mouth. A comment from her sister of " you do funny voices" gave Giulia the brilliant idea to become a voice-over artist. Yes voice-overs, Giulias ticket to debt freedom. Just like like that screenplay she wrote in her head and that t-shirt business she doodled on a post-it, there are lots of BIG ideas to get Giulia debt free but how will it ever happen when the book " Is there money in your mouth" or " Is there money in your mind" or " Is there money in your asshole" cost MONEY to get these juicy secrets of instant easy success? HA! I knew you needed me. Take me out of this icebox and we can find the cash in your ass together.
  ¶ 6:15 PM 0 comments

  My hands are thai'd I CAN"T BELIEVE IT! You actually took my out of the freezer for two whole minutes yesterday because you were out of cash and craving Pad Thai. I realy thought this was the start of a brand new beautiful relationship of careless spending together. I watched in joyus anticipation as you searched the take out menu for items to add to the $15 credit card minimum required. Hot damn I was excited! Then in a moment of what I called stupidity but you call clarity you exchanged me for the frozen gnocchi. Those gnocchi have only been in here for two weeks I've been in here over three months!!! Oh freedom was so gorgeous for but a moment. I hope you enjoyed your cheap home cooked meal.
  ¶ 8:15 PM 0 comments

  Check this out Putting me in the freezer just got you four overdraft charges. Why wouldn't you just let me pay the cable bill!? Your pride cost a $31 fee. You've made your point, now put me in the microwave and let's go out. No? Damn.
  ¶ 1:40 PM 0 comments

  How I work my magic Click here for a how credit cards work for dummies to the devil.
  ¶ 5:18 PM 0 comments

  You gotta a friend I just know that if the lil' cutie barista on 14th & th didn't give you grande frpucinos when you payed for a tall you'd need me then! A-HA!
When your sister was visiting this weekend and mistook for an ice pack, I was so hoping you'd not notice me icing her ankle that way you'd fall back in love with the defrosted me. I guess you just don't find me all that attractive anymore.
  ¶ 8:03 PM 0 comments

  Oh you again. Giulia transfered all her debt to me Citibank Visa so she can consolidate but when she called American Express to say farewell they offered her a card with one Delta sky mile per $1 spent! How could she say no? She did. Repeatedly until finally Sharon at Amex in her southern twang seductive voice said something to the tune of "okay Ms. Rozzi, you;ll be reciveing your brand new American Express Delta Sky Plus card in the mail shortly and I do thank you for choosing American Express. You have a great day Ms. Rozzi." You see to a child like Giulia, being called Ms. Rozzi makes her feel all adult responsible and stuff so of course she will take the big girl card. Now she just needs to spend $1,000 to get a seat in coach.
  ¶ 9:54 AM 1 comments

  Urbans wins, Citibank looses. Giulia paid $28 for this shirt at Urbans. No sale, no discount. No finagled returning a skirt that was more expensive at one location to get a higher valued merch credit at another location. No, lil' miss paid full price, cash. Bravo! And just how can one office slave/not so starving cause she loves food too much artist afford such diva deliciousness? Well, one apon a time (last Monday) Giulia got her APR lowered from 20% to 8.65%! Credit card APRs go up without telling you, so do what fancy pants did and call your credit card company and threaten to transfer your balance to another card unless they lower your APR, if the person says "no can do" ask for the big boss. Supervisors love to make you feel special. Call now and you too can afford awesomeness across your na-nas.
  ¶ 8:05 PM 0 comments

  Vacation So um, how's it going Mint Chocolate Chip? Giulia on vacation in Boston. Thisis her first vacation sans Mastercard. That's cool, that's cool. I am enjoying myself in here. The frozen Onion Rings behind and quite the partiers so we've been gettinghigh off of frost gases late night. So Minty, I know you are going to be gone soon (especially with Giulia's boyfriend being so tall and lanky that he can eat all of you and never worry about gaining a pound). So um, how about you and I make use of our limited time together and get to know one another if you catch my drift? Come on, I ain't gettin' no lovin' from Ms. Rozzi at least you could give me just a tiny taste of your sweetness. No? I really dig your chips. Nope? I llike your cool refreshing sugary goodness. Still no? Okay,

Hey Onions, looks like it's you and me again. Onions? Onions? Dammit. Tall and lanky boy strikes again.
  ¶ 1:17 PM 0 comments

  Grande Mild Please $2.00 coffee
x 5 days a week
( weekends the Choc Full O' Nuts besideme in the freezer gets to party)
= $10.00 week
x 4 weeks per month
= $40.00 month
x 12 months/year
= $480.00 in Starbucks coffee a year.

Good luck paying me off bitch.
  ¶ 10:39 PM 1 comments

  School me Your writing class ends on Tuesday. Daddy sure was nice to pay for it, huh? But now that the fun is over who's gonna school you now little lady? You really think you can keep up your writing habit all by your lonesome? Come on, you need school. You have terrible grammar and no discipline. What you want to be a blogger for the rest of your life? Take one more class. How about screenwriting? Yeah, screenwriting that's it. You can um, write a screenplay, sell it and you really won't need me anymore. Think of it as an investment. Use me to make your future brighter, it's the least you can do while I'm here in the dark. Damn you Ezeikal Bread, you are so cramping my space!
  ¶ 1:43 PM 0 comments

  Jean, can I borrow a dollar? Look what a big girl you are! Yes you are. Yes you are. Ah big girl, buying big books. Joining One Spirit for the tenth time and getting all her big girl self help books. Big girl reading about getting rid of debt, oooh cute. Big girl hasn't paid the pricey S & H fees for her "free" books yet. Big girl bought big girl book 'Pay It Down" to learn how to get rid of her debt. Hey big girl here is a big girl step to get rid of debt that Jean Chatzky doesn't tell you- SAVE MONEY AND DON'T BUY ANYMORE BOOKS YOU WON"T READ! Having a shelf full of 1/3 read books doesn't make you look like a smart big girl (nor does letting your credit card keep a blog,that makes you look crazy. Big girl girl)
  ¶ 11:29 PM 0 comments

  The price of beauty I refuse to stop paying your gym membership.Come on it's the only charge still on me. I know, you were kidding yourself into thinking I was not the one paying since myself and Mr. Crunch set up automatic payments. This is your health we are talking about here! Don't think I don't notice you sneakin' in here and taking nibbles of the Soy Delcious Vanilla Fudge Supreme. You need Cardio Strip class! Unless you go through with that dream and actually start stripping for real you will never be able to afford Crunch on your own. And you will never have a stripper body unless we go to Crunch ( well a hot strippers body) so ha! It's a never ending cycle, I win. Please? PLEASE! It's just $84! I can afford $84, you can't put a price tag on health and happiness. Yeah right you are gonna go running in the mornings. Okay fine quit Crunch. Go for you "run". Hey,with all that running we should buy new sneakers.Come on, my treat.
  ¶ 10:23 PM 2 comments

  Relax, don't do it Two chair massages in a month!? TWO!? I don't care if they were $10 quickies at the nail salon, TWO!?Paid in cash? And then 3 cabs in the past 8 days?! Who do you think you are? If you are soooooooo about getting rid of me and being debt free in 365 days, blah blah, blah, then why did you recently just send my peeps the minimum due. Actually you've sent the minimum due every month for the past three years!
Okay fine Giulia, go get your massages-you know no one has touched me in weeks! Plastic has feelings too. (okay that's a lie) No really enjoy yourself, hey you know what enjoy yourself my treat.
Dammit, I thought I could con you into using me a little bit but Ms. Giulia are stronger than I thought. Let's see how strong you can last all summer with all those vacations, parties, nights out, and cutie summer fashions. Mark my words, come Sangria drinking time and you are tanked and broke you will defrost me!
...please? I need to party too.
  ¶ 5:25 PM 0 comments

  Ubook, Ibuy ibook, wadup? Giulia is aching for you, her lame ass Dell laptop bit it hard. If only she wasn't obsessed with the internet she could write on her home computer, but midway through every sentence she goes online. For what? Hey Giulia, instead of reading your friends blogs to see how they are doing, whay don't you call your friends to see how they are doing?I told her- just use me, abuse me, one more time and then Giulia, me and you little sexy ibook could have a threesome. But nope, I'm trapped under two bags of freakin' ice cubes from her party last weekend. Why did she buy so many ice cubes? Did anyone even use a single ice cube at theparty? Were the ones inthe tray not good enough for her little friends. Yeah, and I 'm the one who wastes money?
  ¶ 11:21 AM 0 comments

  My love Hey Urbs,

Can I still call you Urbs? Or Do I have to be all proper and call you Mr. Outfitters like when we first met back in 97. Don't be mad that I haven't come by to see you, if it were up to me I'd have maxed myself out on your lovin' by now.

So how have you been? God, I have really missed you. I long to once again feel the way your hip cashiers used to swipe me hard. Giulia loves you too, but I had to rationalize her somewhat obsessive attraction top your sale rack. I would whispher to her " But it used to be $40, now it's $20, you HAVE to buy it. Besides it's on me."

I don't know if you noticed Urbs, but occasionally Giulia would tear up when she would bring a shirt to the register only to find out it was an additional half off. You know what, I sort of teared up too, I mean I was really proud of that girl.

Now Ms. Giulia is all " I gonna pay cash for yet another cheapy t-shirt with a nonsense quote." Look at her, learning the value of a dollar, while I am in here trying to make friends with her boyfriends microwave sausage patties. I must say Jimmy Dean is not much of talker.
  ¶ 10:07 AM 0 comments

  Remembering the spending It's Memorial Day.Giulia saw three dresses she wanted at Forever 21 this weekend and didn't buy them cause she didn't have the money. I yelled out "let me help you!" but she couldn't hear my cries from this freezer. It's a hard habit to relearn, but "having what you need rather than what you want" ain't so bad.  ¶ 7:54 PM 1 comments

  It's so very cold... ...not burning up the stores. At least I know these frozen peas are not only beside me were also purchased by me in February. $1.19 spent needlessly and uneaten, add the 14% interest rate, those peas now cost $1.89.
  ¶ 9:57 PM 0 comments